


A x New x Departure

by KayJayo



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alluka Zoldyck - Freeform, Anime, Hunter x Hunter - Freeform, Killua Zoldyck - Freeform, Other, gon freecss - Freeform, hxh - Freeform, kite - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2020-07-25 03:29:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20019181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayJayo/pseuds/KayJayo
Summary: This is a continuation of Hunter X Hunter focusing solely on Gon and his activities during the Black Whale Arc. Obviously, this is just my own conjecture and I have very little evidence to support any of this, but until the day Gon (maybe) returns to HxH I shall continue to write for myself.Basically, I have my own idea of how Gon could make a come back. Killua will be mentioned but never directly appear in the story because I really want to focus on Gon post the emotional mess that was the Chimera Ant arc.





	1. The x Journey x Begins

Warm summer air blew softly through the open window. Gon sat peacefully gazing up at the sky, deep in thought. He was supposed to be working on his correspondence classes, but on a day so perfect he couldn’t help but wish he was out visiting his favorite spots in Snake Beech Forest.

He spent much of his time indoors studying lately—the last year being nothing but work and academics—and he missed the lure of adventure. Since Alluka fixed his body the year previously, Gon had been unable to conjure any _nen_. If not for the distraction of his schoolwork, Gon was certain he would have become restless much sooner, but, because of it he was content—if only temporarily.

However, the urge was finally coming back. How long was he supposed to sit around? Ging’s words repeatedly rang in his head: _Remember what you told me? You fought with the intent to throw everything away, and you were returned to normal. You’d be ungrateful if you wanted more. Be happy about it_

But Gon did want more. He’d experienced the anguish of weakness before—the pain of being unable to use his nen. Going back to a normal human was the hardest transition he had ever undergone.

Since he awoke without the ability to draw out his _nen_, Gon tried daily to reopen his aura nodes through meditation. He could sometimes feel aura stirring within him, but it was as if a dam had been constructed while he slept that he just couldn’t break through.

A notification popped up on his laptop and disturbed his thoughts. Curiously, Gon opened up the message, and felt a pang of sadness when he saw it was from Killua.

The email contained a picture of Killua and his little sister Alluka standing on an outlook with a harbor and a large, black, whale shaped boat in the distance. Below the image were a link and a brief message: “I guess the Association is finally heading for the Dark Continent. Alluka and I decided we would go check out the launch. Wish you were here to see.”

Gon followed the link to a video of an announcer animatedly dancing about and shouting into a microphone, “How’s it going everyone? Are you ready to witness history?”

A second host jumped in, saying in a squeaky voice, “What you are about to witness _is_ history! Yes, you are a part of it! You! And you!” She pointed at a few of the gathered crowd. A platform ascended from the ground below, and atop it stood a rotund man garbed in a crown and fancy attire. The first announcer continued as the platform rose, “Here we are, let’s hear it for Nasubi Hui Gu Ro!”

The crowds cheered and applauded for the King of Kakin. Gon had never actually seen footage of the king before. Hui Gu Ro raised a finger to the sky and shouted, “I only have one thing to say! I am the magnificent king of Kakin! The new continent is within our grasp!” The video went on to introduce all fourteen of the royal princes and showed them boarding the Black Whale ship where they were to attend a gala the night before the ships grand departure.

Gon knew about the association joining V5 and the Kakin royalty to explore the Dark Continent, but he was unsure of the exact launch date until now. Kurapika and Leorio were onboard, along with the rest of the zodiacs, Ging, and Bisky, who had sent Gon a message after being contacted by Kurapika for a job.

It seemed as though everyone were continuing on with their hunts without him. Gon didn’t respond to Killua’s email—he wasn’t sure what to say. Slowly, he shut his laptop and stood, closing his eyes. He tried to feel his life energy—tried to let his aura flow once more. He couldn’t count how many times he had tried, but still it eluded him, as though caught on a wisp of wind just beyond his reach.

Sighing, he opened his eyes and looked down at his hands. _It’s hard, being so weak, _he thought. But, Ging was right. Gon had been prepared to sacrifice everything, and now he had to live with that choice.

Gon sheepishly looked toward the door. Mito wouldn’t be happy with him for doing so, but he needed a break. He leapt from the window and dashed away into the forest.

Gon spent his childhood exploring the nooks and crannies of Whale Island. He knew every inch of it like the back of his hand. But his favorite area was Snake Beech forest. It was there that Gon had met Kite. If it weren’t for that meeting, Gon might not have ever become a hunter. All of the adventures he experienced with his friends wouldn’t have happened.

A low grumbling came from the bushes behind Gon. With a smile, he turned around, “Konta, we’ve talked about this,” Konta, a hulking male foxbear crawled out from his hiding place and plopped down before Gon.

Gon walked up to him and rubbed his belly as though he were a large puppy. “You’re king of the forest Kon, you’re supposed to be more regal—what will the others think if they see you with a human?” He tried to sound stern, but he couldn’t keep a joyful and teasing tone from his voice.

Konta sat up as Gon dropped down beside him, and whimpered slightly at the look on Gon’s face. “I’m fine,” Gon chuckled, “I just…miss being a hunter.”

Gon enjoyed talking to Konta. On the island he was the closest thing that he had to a friend. He could talk to Mito as well, of course, but there were some things he couldn’t say to her.

“I mean, technically I am still a Hunter because I still have a license, but, ‘a hunter must always be on the hunt’ is the first commandment, and I haven’t hunted anything for a long time. Mito wants me to finish school, but that’s supposed to take another three years,” he sighed loudly, expressing his distaste, “I don’t want to sit around that long. It’s only been one year and I haven’t even gotten a break yet,”

An idea flickered in Gon’s mind. “A break,” he muttered.

Gon leaped to his feet and as he dashed away he called back, “I have an idea Kon! Thanks for listening! You rule!”

“You want to have a break?”

Gon nodded, “Like how most schools have a summer or winter break. C’mon Aunt Mito, I need to do something, sitting here is killing me. Just give me a few months—please?”

Mito seemed to consider it. “What will you do in those three months? Not anything too dangerous again, I hope.”

“I want to try and figure out how to regain my _nen_,”

Mito’s face darkened and Gon was afraid she would tell him no. “Isn’t it enough to be the way you are now? I know you didn’t tell me everything that happened, but aren’t you lucky to even be alive? What’s so important about having nen? You can live a normal life—,”

“I don’t want to live a normal life, Aunt Mito—I want to be a hunter. I am a hunter. All of my friends are out having adventures, and I’m stuck here.” Realizing how his comment sounded, Gon hurriedly tried to backtrack, “Not that there’s anything wrong with being here, it’s just this place is so small and the rest of the world is so big and I have barely seen any of it. I found Ging, so now a need a new goal and I can’t find that here.”

Mito kept her eyes downcast and said nothing. “I promise I’ll come back,” Gon assured her.

“Do what you want.” Mito replied as she strode away, exhaustion in her voice.

_You’d be selfish if you wanted more._

Gon clenched his fist and headed upstairs to prepare for his new adventure.

“You know, this all seems kind of familiar,” Gon’s grandma, Abe, said as she gave him a final hug before he left for the harbor.

Gon smiled, “It’s like when I left to take the exam,”

Mito stepped forward and gave Gon a loving hug, despite her obvious disapproval with him for leaving again. “Just make sure you come back safe,”

“I will, Aunt Mito,” Gon said affectionately. As he pulled away he jokingly held out his pinky. Mito laughed and joined her pinky with his as they sang, “Pinky swear made loser has to swallow a thousand needles, seal it with a kiss!”

“Where are you headed first?” Mito asked as Gon turned to leave.

“Heaven’s Arena,” Gon replied over his shoulder. “I want to talk to my old _nen_ teacher, Wing.”


	2. Return x To x The Arena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon returns to the Heaven's Arena to consult with Wing on getting back the use of his nen.

Gon was shocked to find the Heaven’s Arena closed down upon his arrival. He approached one of the security guards outside the building and asked what happened.

“Two contestants went crazy or something—I heard they planted bombs in the crowd and blew half of them up.”

“Do you know their names?” Gon pressed, curious if it was anyone he might have known from his time in the arena.

“No, sorry kid,”

“What about when it happened?”

“I think it was just a few weeks ago,”

Gon thanked the man and headed down a nearby street. He could only hope that Wing and Zushi still lived in the same apartment.

He was overjoyed when Zushi answered his knock on the door.

“Zushi! Long time no see,”

“Gon,” although he smiled widely, Zushi seemed surprised. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Zushi?” Gon heard his old nen teacher, Wing, call from another room, “Who’s at the door?”

Wing appeared around the corner, “Gon, what brings you here? Come on inside.”

Gon entered and sat down upon the couch in the center of the room. Everything was exactly the same has it had been the last time he was there.

“I had something I wanted to ask you, but, before that—what happened to the arena?”

Zushi and Wing gave each other an uneasy glance.

“Hisoka,” Wing replied.

“Hisoka?” Gon shouted in surprise.

“He was fighting a man named Chrollo Lucilfer.”

“Chrollo?” Gon leaped to his feet, his fists clenching apprehensively.

“You know him?” Wing asked, seemingly unsurprised.

“He’s the leader of the Phantom Troupe,” Gon growled.

“The ones that you ran into in YorkNew City? Your friend—Kurapika, wasn’t it? He was hunting them down, correct?”

“Yeah,” Gon hesitantly sat back down, his mind racing. “Wait, did Chrollo have _nen_?”

“Yes, and he was quite proficient in it, I must add. He defeated Hisoka,”

Gon was disturbed by the news of Chrollo having his _nen_ back, but he was even more shocked to learn that he had succeeded in beating Hisoka. “What do you mean?” He probed incredulously.

“Would you like to watch the recording? We have it—although I think the cameras were damaged along the way because it ends with static.”

“Please,”

Wing popped in the disk, and Zushi brought Gon a cold beverage. “This fight is pretty intense,” he said without a smile. Gon set the drink down without opening it and leaned forward attentively.

The match started with both Hisoka and Chrollo’s introductions, then the two of them began a fight unlike any Gon had ever seen. Without _gyo_, Gon was unable to see Hisoka’s _Bungee Gum_, but he knew enough about its functions to generally be able to tell when it was being used.

Chrollo’s ability on the other hand was a mystery to him. At times he had a book in his hands, and at others he appeared to be controlling audience members the same way that Killua’s brother, Illumi, controlled people with his needles.

And there were explosions everywhere. Spectators tackled and blew up on contact with Hisoka repeatedly. He was at a clear disadvantage and despite how hard and magnificently he fought it ended with him, battered and bloody, in the center of a dastardly explosion.

When the video ended, Gon was at a loss for words. “Is…” he asked quietly, “…is Hisoka still alive?”

“Honestly, Gon, I don’t know. Luckily Zushi and I weren’t at the fight. Anyone that was present either ran away or was killed. He might have survived, but just based on appearances—I doubt it.”

Gon wasn’t sure how he felt. Hisoka was an enemy, but he had also been an ally on more than one occasion. And the fact that Chrollo was the one who potentially finished him off bothered Gon even more.

“I’m sorry Gon, I know Hisoka was an….acquaintance of yours.”

“Could I have a copy of this?” Gon asked. He wanted to send it to Killua as soon as possible.

“Sure,” Wing replied, “Just give me a moment,” he stood and went about making a new disk for Gon.

Zushi turned amicably toward Gon, causing a major shift in the mood, “So, what have you been up to?”

Gon uncomfortably replied, “School,”

“That’s it?” Zushi asked, visibly confused.

“Yeah, that’s it,”

“Oh…Well what about Killua? What’s he up to?”

Gon winced slightly, “Last I heard he was in Kakin watching the Black Whale cast off.”

“How come you aren’t with him? You two didn’t have a fight did you?”

Gon looked down at his hands, “No, we just went our separate ways a while back.”

“But, you’re still friends, right?”

Gon felt a clench in his heart at Zushi’s question, “Of course we are,” he replied with a feigned chuckle. He meant what he said—he and Killua were still friends. But, he didn’t mention that things weren’t the same as they once were. He didn’t mention that he and Killua hadn’t done anything more than occasionally email over the course of the last year.

Wing returned and handed the new disk to Gon who slipped it into his backpack.

“Now,” Wing asked, “Why are you really here, Gon?”

Gon took a deep breath and answered, “Remember last year, at the election, when I was hurt pretty bad and my friends had to use _nen_ to save me?”

“I remember,” Wing affirmed.

“Ever since then I’ve been unable to use _nen_. I know I still have it, but it’s like all my nodes have sealed themselves back up and no matter how much I try and reopen them nothing ever happens.”

Wing looked contemplative as he sat on the couch—his shirt untucked and his hair a mess as always. He straightened his glasses and inquired, “So what is it you want from me?”

“I was wondering if there is a way you could re-open my nodes—release my _nen_ again like you did before.”

Wing sat forward, “Are you sure that’s what you want? From what I understand it was your own choice to sacrifice yourself in the way you did. Giving up your _nen_ was your price for achieving the power you needed. And you cheated that price by having someone else return you to normal. And now, you wish to go back to the way things were, when _you_ made the exchange in the first place? I’m not sure that’s a wise decision Gon.”

“I should just be happy the way I am, then?” Gon’s voice was small, but firm. “I wouldn’t be much of a hunter if I was,” Gon stared intensely at Wing. “I know I should be happy with what I have, but I’m not. Call me selfish if you want, but someone once told me hunters are selfish creatures, and I agree. If you can’t help me, I’ll go someplace else.”

He didn’t mean to sound cruel, but Gon had been told the same thing enough times he had no desire to go through the same conversation again. He knew that what he wanted was selfish—and he knew that this same state of mind was what had gotten him into trouble in the first place. But he didn’t want to live the rest of his life pretending to be ok with living like a normal person.

Wing sighed. “I can try and forcibly open them like I did before, but I can’t guarantee it will work.”

“Why wouldn’t it?” Gon asked.

“When you were fighting with the chimera ants I suspect that you came into contact with hostile _nen_, am I correct?”

Gon thought back to Neferpitou’s unpleasant aura—a wave of malice and insatiable curiosity that flooded his very being with poisonous fear.

“Yeah, I’ve never felt _nen_ as hostile as Pitou’s. It made Hisoka’s feel like nothing,”

“My fear is that although your body has reverted back to how it was before, your _nen_ may not have. And, since your _nen_ has been exposed to such hostility, I’m concerned that even my most powerful aura won’t be enough to reawaken it. Before, you merely needed contact with strong _nen_, but this time you need something on par with what your body has adjusted to withstand, does that make sense?”

“So…it might not work because to me it will feel like nothing?” Gon murmured.

“Exactly, it’s as though you’ve built up immunity to it.” Wing said.

“Can we try it anyway?”

“Of course,”

Gon felt a wave of nostalgia as he stood, turned away from Wing, and removed his jacket. He took a few deep, calming breaths, and prepared for the wave of power he had experienced before with Killua. Only, it wasn’t as powerful as he remembered.

The first time he had encountered Wing’s _nen_, he was blown away by his strength. Of course, Gon didn’t consider Wing weak by any means, but he since faced many more foes, each one stronger than the last. Compared to them, Wing’s aura didn’t feel intimidating or dangerous at all—it felt warm. Gon could tell Wing practiced long and hard to be able to channel his anger into his aura in such a way to help Zushi and any other students he taught to acquire _nen_, but it caused no fear. Gon didn’t feel as though any harm would befall him.

After a few minutes Wing stopped and apologized, “I just don’t think that this is going to work, Gon,” he sat down next to Zushi, “if you want to forcibly open your nodes you’re going to have to find someone much more sinister than I to help you.”  
“That’s alright, Wing, I figured it was a bit of a long shot anyway.”

“Do you have anyone else that could give you a hand?”

“Well, you said Hisoka could be dead, so he’s out of the question, and Kurapika, Leorio, Bisky, and Ging are all setting sail for the Dark Continent, so I can’t ask them either.”

“What about the person that restored your body in the first place? They must have needed an incredible force of _nen_ to pull off such a feat—would their powers be able to help you in any way?”

Gon shook his head. “They’ve already done so much for me I don’t want to take advantage of them. And, even if that weren’t the case, their ability comes with a lot of conditions and creates problems for them and their family.”

After a long pause Wing added, “I am sorry Gon, I wish that there was more that I could do for you. Perhaps it’s time for you to accept how you are and try to live the best life that you can. Is this really worth the risk?”

Once again, Gon felt a stab of guilt as he thought of all that his friends had done to fix him, and how what he was doing now made him feel as though he was being ungrateful.

With finality, Gon stood and gave Wing a small bow. “Thanks, Wing, I appreciate the help.”

“You’re leaving already?” Zushi sounded disappointed.

“Yeah,” Gon said, “I don’t have a whole lot of time to get this done, I promised Mito I’d be back to studying in three months.”

“Where will you go next?” Wing inquired.

“To find an old friend,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal is one chapter a month, but If I'm feeling up to it I might throw an extra chapter in every once in a while. Mostly I just wanted to show that I am actually planning on updating this, and I want it to actually go somewhere. This chapter's still a little bit of an exposition, but from now on it'll start picking up.
> 
> Hopefully my ideas about Nen and how it works match up well with HxH and don't confuse anyone. If it does confuse someone, sorry.


	3. Visiting x An Old x Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon continues his new journey and visits Kite to try and find a way to restore his nen.

Gon hadn’t spoken to Kite since they accompanied Spinner Clow to watch the small billed cranes of her homeland begin their migration. But Gon knew that he was still holed up in the same house along with a few of the other chimera ants that were acclimating to their new status as protected Magical Beasts.

It took Gon a few days to travel to the city nearest the homestead, and another day on foot through the nearby forest. When he arrived at the house, he was excited to see Kite, Koala, and Colt standing on the front porch.

“Kite!” Gon called jovially. Kite turned toward Gon in surprise, “Gon, what are you doing here?” He walked forward to meet him, and Gon was pleased to see that Kite had grown back to the same height he had been before—give or take a few inches. His freckled face and red hair were completely different than before, as was his very species, but his mannerisms and way of speech all screamed Kite. Gon was happy simply to have his friend back.

“I needed a little help,” Gon replied sheepishly. Colt and Koala stayed back, and looked on with subtle curiosity as Gon and Kite walked down toward the wide spread forest.

“What have you been doing Kite?” Gon inquired, eager to ask his questions, but also genuinely curious about what Kite’s life had become since becoming an ant.

“It’s strange. I’m in a completely different body, but mentally I don’t feel any different. I’ve spent the last year allowing this body to fully mature, and also testing out my _nen_ to make sure it still works in the same manner. A few ants that remember their pasts have found that their _nen_ slightly differed from what it had been as humans, others find that they are of a completely different type. But many, like I, have remained the same. It really is a pain in the ass.”

Kite continued to tell Gon the details about his work throughout the past year and how he often partnered with Colt and Koala to help other chimera ants adapt to their new lives. They were charged with tracking down and handling any rogues, which were then brought back to the mansion. Once there, Kite and the others tried their best to help the ones that were willing to live like humans. Unfortunately, not all of them had that desire, just as not all of them held memories of being human in the first place. For the most part, the Chimera ants were gone, and the ones that were still free were kept under surveillance.

Kite told Gon that Ikalgo and Welfin's group left to search for Gyro and that they checked in every once in a while, but for the most part stayed distant.

Gon had heard of the group via Killua, who still kept in touch with Ikalgo, but he hadn’t spoken to Meleoron since the last time he saw him in person just after the election and wasn’t sure on his whereabouts.

The punitive force that led the attack on the chimera ants also worked with Kite often. They were the ones physically charged with tracking down chimera ants and either eliminating them or sending them to Kite. The force consisted of Knuckle, Shoot, Knov, Palm, and occasionally Morel, although he spent most of his time assisting the association.

“So,” Kite turned to Gon once he had finished his narrative, “what is it that you wanted to ask me?”

Gon wasn’t sure why he hesitated. “I want to regain my nen,” he said somberly.

Kite stared at him for a few moments, and Gon couldn’t venture a guess as to what he was thinking. Gon didn’t break eye contact—he wanted to show his resolve. Exhaling, Kite said, “When I was traveling with Ging, early on in my apprenticeship he took me to see the Lurka Ruins,”

“The ruins that Ging and his team preserved?” Gon asked. Kite nodded, and Gon turned his gaze toward the trees above them thoughtfully. When Kite resumed his speech, Gon listened intently.

“When tourists visit the ruins, they usually stay within the city, or the first level of the temple. But Ging’s team is still excavating the lower caverns of the temple to this day. While we were there he showed me an incredibly large ornate door, and told me about what was inside. He said that, a few years before I met him, he received a call from one of his old comrades about a new aspect of the temple that they had discovered.”

When Kite didn’t immediately say, Gon pushed, “What was it?”

“It’s…” Kite seemed at a loss for words, “it’s difficult to explain, honestly. What they found was a room, a sealed room. A few of them entered immediately, but of the three only one survived and she was badly injured. They were afraid, and didn’t know what to make of it, so they called Ging back for guidance.”

“Did he go inside?”

“He did,” Kite replied, “but not until sometime later.”

“What happened?”

Kite ruminated a moment, trying to find the words Ging said all those years ago, “He said that he had never felt such powerful nen in his life. That he was tested, and that when he left, he felt different—it’s hard to explain, because Ging himself didn’t tell me much about it, even when I pressed. When he exited the room, he ordered it to be sealed and guarded. Even when he was telling me of the experience years later he seemed shaken, and so I’ve never had any particular desire to visit the Room.”

Gon couldn’t help but ask, “Do you think that this room would be able to help me regain my nen?”

“It’s possible, Ging claimed that after that incident, his grasp of nen was better than ever. Granted, I never saw what he was like before he went inside, but I’m inclined to believe him.” Kite fell silent, as if letting Gon have a moment to process his words. “That being said,” he began again, “Gon, I don’t know if I would advise you to try this.”

“Then why did you tell me the story?”

“You asked if there was a way to get your nen back, and I answered your question, lying would have been a pain.”

“Is there any other way I could get my nen restored?”

“Not that I know of, but this method is dangerous, not to mention I can’t guarantee it will even work. Ging said he was tested, but who knows what would have happened if he had failed that test.”

Gon thought of all his friends, going out on their adventures, leaving him behind. He thought of Ging, Kurapika, and Leorio all headed to the Dark Continent with the bulk of the Hunter Association. He thought of Killua and Alluka exploring the Azian continent. And then he thought of what he wanted for his own future.

“I have to do this Kite, if I don’t go after what I want, I’m not much of a hunter anymore,”

Kite sighed, as if that wasn’t the response he wanted to hear. “I figured you’d say something like that,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Kite is "a girl" now but since he's never shown any inclination to consider himself as such I will continue saying he/him when referring to him. Besides, I don't think that Chimera Ant genders work quite the way most people make them out to. Because only the queen can reproduce, right? So even though ants like Neferpitou are more feminine, are they technically classified as female? Just saying Pitou is less girly in the manga and referred to more often as "it" than "she." Not that it really matters with each character, just my opinion. 
> 
> But you know who it does matter with? Alluka. Never misgender that smol girl.


	4. Snakes x And x Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon finds Ayida and learns more about what awaits him at the Lurka Ruins.

Kite helped Gon set up a flight to the Vishan continent, and gave him directions to find an old acquaintance of Ging’s named Ayida. “She was one of the other nen users on the original excavation trips, and she might be able to help you out. I met her once before—she’s very…” he paused as he searched for the word that best described her, “…irascible.”

“You don’t want to come with me?”

Kite seemed to really think about his answer. “I do, Gon, honestly, but I can’t yet.” He looked down at his hands and Gon realized that Kite may not be as used to his new body as he let on. He balled his hands into fists, looked at Gon, and said, “I truly hope that you find what you are looking for,”

The Lurka Ruins sat at the very bottom of the Vishan continent in the southern region of Lake Mobius. Gon’s plane landed in the port city of Bantan—a chaotic, bustling city that lay situated along the ocean. From the air Gon could make out the beach below, stretching as far as the eye could see. The city nearly reached the water in some places, while others held nothing but expanses of white sand.

At street level Gon could feel the chaos as he looked about him. Cars wove in and out of traffic, squeezing into any open space they could find, even if it wasn’t technically legal. Down one street the road would be paved nice and pristine, and then another would be a rocky and uneven cobblestone street.

Gon was drawn in by vendors as he headed for his bus stop and found himself purchasing a fried slab of meat. He wasn’t completely sure what it was, but the aroma was enticing and as he devoured it he wished he asked for its name.

After exploring for a while Gon finally reached his bus stop. The air was humid and thick, and Gon’s bus had no AC. Gon didn’t mind though. He took off his jacket and let himself relax. It was going to take over five hours to reach his destination, and he was a little tired.

As he began to doze, Gon thought of Killua. _I wonder what he and Alluka are doing now…_

Gon barely awoke in time to get off the bus at his proper stop. The area he came to was nothing like Bantan. All of the buildings were small and made of concrete. None of them had any windows or doors as far as Gon could tell—just a few openings where such things would normally be.

It took Gon a few hours to locate Ayida’s house. When he finally found it, he wasn’t sure he was in the correct place. Her home was a small, low sitting square made entirely of concrete. The sand washed over the walls and the doorway as if it had never before been disturbed. There was an open doorway with a single drape hanging from the frame.

With nothing to knock on, Gon tentatively called, “Hello? Ms. Ayida?”

When no response came, Gon adjusted his back pack and stepped into the hovel, sand scuffing his boots. The home was dark, but Gon’s keen eyes had no trouble picking up his surroundings. The single room of the home was completely bare save for a rusty cot, a small foldable table, and an old high backed chair that faced away from him. A few crates full of fruit were piled in the far corner, and two buckets of water sat next to them.

“Who are you and what do you want?” Croaked a sandy voice.

“Are you Ayida?” The woman gave no answer, and Gon continued, “My name is Gon Freecss, I’m—,”

“Ging Freecss’s son,” her voice contained a curious tone, as though she were simultaneously angry and intrigued with Gon’s words. “He isn’t here with you, is he?”

“No, ma’am, I haven’t seen him in over a year,”

“So the bum doesn’t even take care of his own child,” the woman’s deep laugh was throaty and dry, like a barren stream.

“He doesn’t need to take care of me,” Gon retorted.

“Of course not,” she chuckled again, “You’re, what? Fourteen? Maybe Fifteen? Ging was putting together an expedition at that age and developing his precious game at the same time.”

“It’s because of that expedition that I’m here,”

The woman, who still faced away from Gon, sat in silence. “Of course it is,” she finally grumbled.

“Can you take me to the ruins?”

“There are plenty of tours, kid, go find one of them.”

“I don’t want a tour, I want to go into the temple.”

The woman stood and faced Gon. He was startled when he looked upon her, for her eyes were blank and unseeing—covered by a misty film. Her silver hair was long and wispy, held back by a purple checkered bandana. She didn’t look as old as she sounded, but the dirt smeared across her person gave her a haggard appearance. “Did Ging ask you to do this?”

“No, ma’am, he doesn’t even know that I’m—,”

“Then you are just trying to follow in his footsteps? Be great like your father?”

“No, Ms. Ayida, Kite sent me here,”

“Kite?” Ayida repeatedly mumbled the name, as if trying to recall a face, “Ging’s old apprentice? He told you I would take you to the ruins?”

“Not exactly, but he said that you would help me,”

“And why should I? Last time I helped one of you Freecss I lost my eyesight!”

Gon was taken aback. Ayida retreated a few steps and attempted to steady her breath. “I’m sorry,” Gon began, “I had no idea, Kite just told me you might be able to help. He didn’t really give me any other details.”

Ayida sat back down in her chair. Gon walked forward and stood to the side so that he could see her face. “It isn’t your fault, kid; I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you. I was one of the first ones to uncover the Room. I’m a conjuror,” as she spoke a silvery snake manifested itself before Gon. He was startled a bit, but he knew it was a creature born of her _nen_ as a demonstration of her abilities.

“I used snakes to assist in excavation—find where it was safe to dig and where it wasn’t, and to locate new rooms and areas. I could see through their eyes,” The snake disappeared in a puff of silver. “When I found the Room, I thought it was going to be some sort of burial room or treasury for an ancient emperor. Maybe even a room filled with spoils from the Dark Continent excursions. It could have been anything. But I didn’t exercise caution. The two men that were with me, Dale and Barns, helped me pry open the sealed room.”

Ayida shuddered. “Whatever is in there played tricks on us. I’m the only one that survived, but my eyes never worked again, not even with _nen_.”

Cautiously, Gon asked, “But what happened in there? What was it?”

“I’ve tried many times to describe what it was, and I’ve never felt as though I did the experience justice. It was…ancient. Powerful. Terrifying. It showed me things from my life—bad decisions I’d made, regrets, even good things. In the end, it asked me who I was, and what I wanted. I don’t know why I survived.” Her voice trailed off. With a new vigor in her voice, she turned to Gon and said, “Kid I don’t know why you would ever want to go down there, but don’t.”

Gon was afraid of what she said. He couldn’t deny that. But it didn’t dampen his desire at all. “Last year,” he began, “I made a bad decision, and my friends risked their lives to fix the mess I made. That decision left me without the use of my nen. I probably don’t deserve the chance to be a hunter again—but I can’t just sit around and do nothing. This is what I want, and I’m going to go after it as a Hunter. I know it’s dangerous, that’s why I’m not asking anyone else to do it for me. I don’t want to have to rely on others, and without Nen, I’ll have to at some point or another. I don’t know why Kite wanted me to come here, but if you can help me at least get to into the temple that’s enough. You don’t need to accompany me the entire way.”

“You really are like Ging,” Ayida murmured. “He visited me once afterward—after he too had entered the Room. I never understood why he was able to leave unscathed while I had my eyes damaged, my ability rendered useless, and my dreams destroyed. Actually, he had you with him,” she added, as though she had nearly forgotten the detail, “You were so quiet I forgot you were even there.”

“Did he tell you what he saw?” Gon asked curiously despite himself.

“No, he spoke little of it, and I was too angry with him to pry. But, I imagine it was much the same as it was with me—his ineptitudes and mistakes laid bare for him to see. I had little interest in speaking to him.”

Gon had sat down on the ground during her story, and now he stared forward, deep in thought.

Ayida nearly chuckled in honest joy, “I swear I can hear the gears in your head turning, child.”

“It’s just…What is it?”

“Kite really didn’t explain anything did he?”

“No, but he wasn’t too keen on me coming at all. I think he might have sent me here to discourage me, honestly.”

“Ging had a theory, of course it was never tested and he sealed the Room off again and instructed everyone to leave it alone. Are you aware that the Lurkans traveled to the Dark Continent?”

Gon nodded. Then, realizing his blunder, piped up, “Y-yes.”

“Ging believed that the thing in the Room was brought over from the Dark Continent—another addition to the five calamites mentioned in the East Volume. But, he believed that it was brought over much, much earlier than the Five Calamites.”

“What are the Five Calamites?” Gon inquired.

“I’m surprised,” Ayida said, sounding genuinely shocked, “I assumed Ging’s son would be as well learned as he in archeology.”

“I’m…not really one for reading and math,” Gon scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

“The Five Calamites are creatures brought over from the Dark Continent by humanity. They were documented in a book called The East and West Volumes, although west has never been found. The author’s name is Don Freecss,”

“Freecss?” Gon asked in surprise.

“That’s right,” Ayida replied, “Now you understand a little better why your father initially became so obsessed with the Dark Continent? In the East edition it chronicles: the two headed snake, Helbel; the gaseous lifeform, Ai; the immortality disease, Zobae; and the botanical weapon, Brion.

“The hieroglyphs of the Lurkan temples speak of an ancient being that traveled with them on their voyages. Most believe this to be their God, and they very well may have worshiped it as such, but once Ging found out about the room, he believed that it was the things the records referred to.”

“They worshiped it?”

“It makes sense; the Room was filled with ancient offerings and tables, gold, and altars. Personally? I think it judges people.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ging and I both went in, and for whatever reason, I was harmed but he wasn’t. He even said he felt as though his nen was stronger from that point on. I wasn’t good enough—but he was. Maybe that’s why they worshiped it as a god,” Ayida’s voice grew faint.

“That doesn’t sound like a god to me,” Gon said, “and just because you didn’t meet his standards doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough.”

Ayida sat in silence. Gon heard her take a deep breath. “I will take you to the ruins,” she finally told him.

Surprised, Gon asked, “Are you sure?”

“You’re a good kid, and I can tell that you are serious about what you want. I can see that you are willing to risk your life. You’re young, and it would be difficult to watch harm befall you, but you’ll go with or without me, right?”

“Yeah,” Gon affirmed.

“Then hopefully I can be of some sort of assistance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stole the name of the Vishan content form some HxH RPG map someone made, but I don't actually know who made it, so hopefully that's okay. Bantan is based on my experience in Montevideo, Uruguay.  
The next chapter might take a tad longer because it's like the hump chapter...It's the middle section I didn't fully plan out that I need to get through to get to the part I want to get to, does that make sense???


	5. Names x And x Qualifications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon arrives at the Lurka ruins and meets some of Ging's old team.

Gon spent the night at Ayida’s. There was no bed for him, but he was perfectly comfortable sleeping on the ground. The following morning Ayida led him bright and early into the streets. Tiny shops sold fresh fruit, meats, or pastries on nearly every street corner, causing a variety of mingling smells to hang in the air. It reminded Gon of the harbor back at Whale Island with all its little shops and stands. Although, for the most part, the ones back home only sold fish. Despite her blindness, Ayida didn’t seem to have much trouble finding her way around.

“How do you move so well when you can’t see?” Gon asked her.

“If I were to tell you to close your eyes right now, do you think that you couldn’t feel the people around you? Even without _nen_ if you had the skills to be a hunter you should at least be able to sense your surroundings.”

“That’s true, but if you don’t need your eyes anyway does it really matter if you lost them?”

Gon hadn’t meant anything by it, but Ayida rounded on him venomously. “So if I cut off your leg and replaced it with a tree stump it wouldn’t matter? You’d still be able to walk, right? So why do you need it?”

“I’m sorry, that isn’t what I meant,” Gon fumbled. “I just meant that if you can still get around, why did you give up on being a hunter? Why do you live here?”

“Not everyone is blessed with the same determination as you and your father, kid,” Ayida walked away somberly, and Gon figured it was best if he didn’t press her further.

After purchasing himself and Ayida a pair of apples for breakfast, Ayida led Gon to the same bus stop he had arrived at the day before.

“Where are the Lurka ruins anyway?” Gon asked her.

“You really know absolutely nothing about anthropology, do you?”

“Only a few stories Ging told me,”

Ayida groaned and shook her head. “Hard enough that you’re making me take you back there, but you don’t even know anything about the place itself or where it’s located? Unbelievable.”

“But…that’s why I needed your help,” Gon pointed out.

Ayida continued grumbling as they boarded the bus. Gon smiled. She acted sour and insensitive, but he could tell she was truly kind beneath it all.

The ride was shorter than the one from the city, but Gon still had to wake Ayida up when they arrived, since she fell asleep moments after stepping onto the vehicle. From the station it was a lengthy walk through a few miles of grassy, rolling hills to their destination. Gon didn’t mind at all, but Ayida constantly grumbled about having to escort Gon in the heat. She looked for anything that she could whine about and latched onto it. Gon quickly realized she wasn’t as crass as her demeanor claimed, however, and just let her be.

On the way, Ayida asked a few questions about Gon and vice versa. Gon learned that Ayida was actually from the outskirts of Bantan, and that Ging recruited her from there. Ayida inquired where Gon grew up, and he told her all about Mito, Whale Island, and meeting Kite. It was only during his short stories that Ayida said little. She was a good listener.

“Interesting,” Ayida muttered.

“What is?”

“Ging really didn’t raise you then?”

“No, I actually thought he was dead until Kite told me otherwise,”

“I told you that Ging had you with him when he came to visit me all those years ago?”

Gon had almost forgotten, “Oh yeah,” he murmured, “how old was I, anyway?”

“About two years old, I’d guess. He actually said something to me about taking you back to live with his cousin.”

“Ging had me for two years before he took me to Mito?” Gon asked in surprise, “I guess that actually makes sense, he did take me into Greed Island at some point.”

Ayida scoffed, “That ‘hunting game for hunters’ that Ging was so proud of? Yeah he tried to get me to go into that game too. I never did,”

“I enjoyed it,” Gon smiled.

Ayida laughed, “I’m sure you did, kid,”

The companions crested a hill and the Lurkan city appeared below. Gon stopped dead in his tracks. He’d never seen something so old and magnificent before. Just regular cities were odd and foreign to Gon because of his upbringing, but this city was ancient and beautiful and unlike anything he had ever seen.

Most of the stone buildings were falling apart, but they still held a strange ethereal beauty about them, being all that remained of a once great civilization.

“Quite the sight, isn’t it?” Ayida asked, clearly lost in her memories of how it had looked in the past. “I spent over a year excavating this place before we uncovered the temple. I’d give anything to see it again,”

“What happened to them?” Gon asked as Ayida took off down the hill.

“We’re not entirely sure, about half the supposed population of this city is missing. The theory is that they left for the Dark Continent on a permanent basis. Personally? I think that their meddling with forces they didn’t understand might have done them in. Of course, I haven’t been around for a while. Perhaps they’ve learned some new information regarding what befell them.”

Ayida led Gon to a visitor’s center located on the outskirts of the ruins. A middle aged woman stood behind the help desk, and looked surprised when she noticed Ayida approaching.

“Ms. Ayida!” She called jovially. “It’s been such a long time—I didn’t think I’d ever see you back here!”

“Camela,” Ayida’s features softened at the sound of the woman’s voice, who hurried out from behind her desk to meet them. Camela wrapped Ayida up in a big hug. Gon half expected Ayida to shirk away from it, but she welcomed the embrace warmly.

“What are you doing here?” Camela asked.

Ayida gestured to Gon, “This here is Gon Freecss, Ging’s son,”

Camela’s eyes widened. “Oh my, I haven’t seen you since you were just a tiny little baby! It’s so nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Gon replied.

“I’m here to take Gon into the temple,” Ayida told Camela.

Camela dragged her eyes over Gon, as if sizing him up, “I take it you have a hunter license then?”

Gon pulled his license out of his pocket with a smile. “Of course,” he said.

“I’d expect nothing less from Ging’s son. The afternoon tour of the ruins just left about half an hour ago, but the anthropology team should be ready to take their lunchbreak soon. Why don’t you wait here until they do?”

Camela led Gon and Ayida to a break room labeled “employees only.” As they sat down at a small round table in the corner of the room, Camela said, “After lunch I’m sure the team would be more than happy to take you with them.”

“Thank you,” Gon replied.

“This place doubles as a visitor’s center for tourists and a homestead for the archeology team.” Camela continued, “There are a few overnight rooms here if the two of you need them.”

“Like a hotel?” Gon asked.

Camela leaned onto the table, her head resting in one hand. She fixed Gon with a smile, as if she enjoyed the questions. “Not exactly, they’re for the anthropology team only. Tourists must stay in a nearby town and make the trip out here. It’s a pain for them, but we try to keep everyone without the proper qualifications away from the temple at all costs since it’s so dangerous.” She winked at Gon.

“Were you also a member of Ging’s team?” Gon inquired.

“Sort of, my husband was one of his original sponsors. I got a job as a receptionist and tour guide only after most of the main ruins were uncovered.”

Camela continued talking for the next half an hour as they waited. She spouted off facts about the ruins and the history of excavation. Gon found it fascinating and lapped up every detail that he could. He asked every question that came to mind. He hadn’t felt such curiosity in a long time. Ayida stayed quiet for most of the conversation—only throwing in a fact or detail every once in a while. She looked relaxed, and listened contently to Gon’s questioning.

Camela was in the middle of telling Gon that the ruins dated back seven hundred years, when a group of men entered the break room.

A stout man with a thick, braided beard looked at the trio and asked, “What’s this?”

Camela stood, “Brooks,” she answered, “you remember Ms. Ayida here?”

Brooks nodded, “Oh, of course, it’s been a long time.” He strode over and grasped Ayida’s hand. “Welcome,” he smiled. The three other men hovering by the door also greeted Ayida, although they stayed a few paces away to avoid crowding the small room.

Brooks’ eyes scanned over Gon. “And who’s this _kid_?”

His eyes looked disapproving—something Gon had come across many times before. He reminded Gon of Tsezguerra, who was always skeptical of Gon’s strength until he saw it firsthand.

“Gon Freecss,” Gon replied resolutely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the most boring chapter. There will be two, possibly three, chapters after this one. I might be trying to flush it out too hard...Hopefully this story isn't falling apart because of my lack of complete planning. It's mostly the end that I'm all geared up for. NaNo is next month though so I may not post for a bit because I'll be working on something else for a month.


	6. Permission x or x Rejection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While trying to get Brooks to take him to the temple, Gon and Ayida talk with the excavation team about the ruins.

The men by the door immediately began to murmur quietly amongst themselves. Brooks, who was obviously in charge, didn’t even crack a smile.

“You’re Ging’s son? Why are you here?”

“I want to go into the temple,”

Brooks sighed heavily. “Okay, kid, you may be Ging’s son but that doesn’t mean we’re taking a child anywhere near that place, understand? You need some sort of qualifications to go down there—,”

Gon brandished his hunter license. “I can take care of myself,”

Brooks’ eyes narrowed. “Your father didn’t go down there until he was a certified double star hunter. You’d be risking your life. What could you possibly want that’s worth such a risk?”

Gon’s eyes burned with determination. With each person that questioned his goals, his desire and fervency grew stronger. “I need to regain the use of my _nen._ About a year ago, I placed a condition on myself where, in order to gain power in the moment, I would lose it later. Honestly, at the time I had intended for it all to end right there. But, because of my friends, here I am. They risked everything to help me.

“And I understand why I should be grateful that I’m even alive now, and I am, but this is something I need to do. If there’s any chance that I can continue being a hunter, I need to at least try.”

Brooks’ expression seemed to soften for a brief moment, before hardening once again. “Well,” he said, “you sure talk like Ging.” Without saying another word, Brooks walked over to the cupboards on the far side of the room and pulled out a lunchbox.

Worried that Brooks wasn’t going to respond, Gon leaned forward and fixed his gaze upon him apprehensively. His eyes followed the man intently as he walked across the room and sat down at the table next to Camela.

Unable to keep silent any longer, Gon probed, “So…?”

Brooks’ finally groaned and replied, “I’m thinking about it. I haven’t eaten since early this morning—at least let me have my lunch first.”

The three men that were with Brooks followed his example and took out their own lunches. As there was no room at the table, two of them sat upon the counter, while the third ate his food while standing, his back pressed against the wall. Gon kindly asked them for their names, and one of them answered, “I’m Brody, this is Nash, and that over there is Vin.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Gon replied.

“How’s the excavation coming along?” Ayida asked after the group fell into a brief silence.

“About the same as always,” Brooks replied between bites, “just as we think we’ve finally uncovered all that there is we find something new to spend months exploring.” The words he said made it sound as though he was complaining, but the way his face lit up as he spoke said otherwise. Gon could tell he was truly excited about his work.

“A few months ago we found a new tomb, but what was weird was that it was completely empty aside from the grave, and a bunch of life size statues.”

“Well, it isn’t that uncommon for a crypt to contain statues,” Ayida chuckled, “many important rulers were buried with statues of their gods,”

“The statues aren’t the weird part,” Brooks assured her, “It’s the way they were placed within the tomb. They all look as though they were…cowering from something. And they’re so lifelike. Almost too lifelike to be statues, let alone from an ancient civilization. We have no idea what they could mean.”

“Fascinating,” Ayida murmured, “Perhaps they were born of _nen,_”

“That’s what we think,” Brooks nodded, his mouth full of sandwich. “It seems a lot of weird things happened in this place a long time ago. Maybe this clue can help us piece together what actually happened to their civilization.”

“Ging told me that he originally came here to learn about the Lurkans’ journey to the Dark Continent,” Gon said, “and then Ayida also mentioned their travels. Do you think that’s related to what happened to them?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Brooks replied.

“Most of my friends are heading to the Dark Continent with Beyond and the Hunter Association right now,” Gon mumbled absentmindedly, suddenly a bit more concerned for their safety than he had been before.

“Yeah, we know a few people that are headed over there too—including your dad.” The man leaning against the wall, Vin, responded.

“Ging isn’t going with the association though, right?” Gon asked, as he remembered Ging mentioned being with Pariston Hill the last time they had spoken.

“No,” Vin answered, “he chose to go with Beyond’s group. I heard he even paid them all off just to let him join,” Vin, Brody, and Nash chuckled. Brooks shook his head, a grin on his face, “And he’d do it, too,”

Gon smiled. He didn’t know Ging that well, but he could picture it easily.

Brooks finished his meal and leaned back in his chair, his gaze fixed curiously upon Gon. He didn’t say anything for a while, and Gon began to grow uncomfortable.

“I can’t decide if the right thing is to take you down there, _because_ you are Ging’s son, or to not take you because you _are_ Ging’s son. You get me?”

“Um…” Gon was at a loss for words.

Ayida sighed dramatically, “He means he doesn’t know if he should take you because you’re a talented hunter, or if he shouldn’t because you are the child of his close friend. Honestly, Brooks, you could have worded it better. He isn’t the brightest child—a trait he clearly didn’t inherit from his father.”

“Oh, okay. Well, I say you should take me,” Gon countered.

Dumbfounded, Brooks slowly shook his head, “Yes, I know that already.” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before turning to Ayida. “You really think I should let him do this?”

Ayida nodded, “I do. The kid has that same quality about him that Ging had—can’t you feel it? Besides, even if you don’t give him your blessing I am sure this lad will find a way to get in without you.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this...but I think you’re right.” As he stood, Brooks fixed his gaze upon Gon once more. “Okay, kid, I’ll take you to the temple.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote and published all of this in one day, so there's a fair chance that it's got a few issues. I'm sure I'll go back through and edit again if need be later, it's just been a while since I posted a chapter and I was excited when I finished.
> 
> Also the next chapter is the chapter I wrote this entire thing for so...I’m excited to write it.


	7. The x Ornate x Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon and the excavation team descend into the depths of the temple.

“You’re not going to come with us?” Gon somberly asked Ayida. He had grown accustomed to having her around, and expected her to accompany him.

“I told you, Gon, I have no desire to enter that place again. This is as close as I ever plan to get. I will wait here for you to return,” she smiled widely, “as I’m sure you will.”

“Let’s go, kid,” Brooks called from the doorway.

“Right,” Gon replied. Turning back to Ayida, he said, “Thank you,” before taking off after Brooks.

The group of excavators led Gon out of the visitor’s center through another door marked “employees only.” It opened to a pathway completely fenced in, like a cage.

“Is this to keep people out?” Gon asked.

“Yes, we’ve had some people leave groups and get lost, or purposefully go looking for trouble so we had to implement this cage to prevent any unwanted injuries.” Brooks answered.

The path sloped downhill and lead to a large cavernous opening. Rough manmade wires and lights illuminated the pathway.

“Is the temple below ground?” Gon asked, intrigued.

“That’s right—we believe it was placed below ground as protection, or a precaution.”

As the group reached the opening, Gon looked down through the stone maw into the darkness beyond. Even with the lights fixed onto the walls, the tunnel seemed ominous. Brooks began to descend down the steep staircase made entirely of chiseled stone. The excavators had added a makeshift railing down the right side of the staircase to make navigating it easier.

Gon was agile enough he didn’t need the railing, just as his keen eyesight helped make the darkness far less daunting. Down they went, into the earth itself. The air smelled musty, and carried the strong scent of soil. Despite the amount of time Gon spent outdoors during his childhood, he couldn’t think of a time that he went so deep into a cave.

“There it is,” Brooks called back over his shoulder, his finger pointing to a doorway at the bottom of the stairs. Bright light washed over the walls from inside the room, which was much more well lit than the tunnel. As Gon entered, he couldn’t help but gasp at what was before him.

Kite told him that the door leading to the temple was large, and ornate, but at the time Gon hadn’t imagined it could be as big as the door before him. It stood even taller than the Testing Gates back at the Zoldyck estate, and looked to have been decorated with gold, and other precious gems along the edges. The grandeur of it was a stark contrast to the hallway they’d entered from.

After staring at the door for a while, Gon finally looked about the rest of the room. Two great hallways lay on either side of the space. Both had ceilings as high as the door, and traveled even further into the earth. Brody, Nash, and Vinn went about lighting large braziers placed in each corner of the room—creating an even greater, much warmer light than the bulbs and wires carefully fixed upon the walls.

“These hallways lead to other areas of the temple—mostly tombs and burial sites.” Brooks relayed after seeing the awed look on Gon’s face. 

“They laid their dead to rest in their temple?” Gon was surprised by the macabre detail, “Is that normal?”

“Depends on the culture, and what they believed in. We don’t have all the answers yet.”

Gon’s eyes rested once again upon the gigantic doors before him. He noticed something curious, “There’s no handle or door knob on them—how are we supposed to enter?”

Brooks stood at Gon’s side and replied, “That’s where my ability comes in,”

“Your ability?”

“That’s right. This door was sealed up with _nen_ hundreds of years ago, most likely by someone who had a similar power to mine. Ayida and the others were able to force it open by sending Ayida’s snakes to the other side, but once Ging decided it needed to be sealed again he came to me.” Brooks took a few steps toward the door.

The three men with them, who had been so quiet for the rest of the short trip, all huddled together by the opening they entered through. Vinn called out, “Be careful, Brooks,”

“I will,” he responded confidently. Brooks motioned for Gon to come closer. When they both were within arm’s reach of the door, Brooks looked intently at Gon. “I have the ability to lock and close, or unlock and open up any door or latch so long as I can touch it. It’s a fairly useless ability for fighting, although I’ve learned other simple _emitter_ attacks to make up for it. Most of us on this team developed our _nen_ abilities to assist us more with our work and less with brawls.”

“Like Ayida—she explained to me how her snakes worked.”

“Exactly like that, yes.” Brooks’ eyes squinted playfully, “You’re probably an _enhancer,_ aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Gon let out a nervous laugh, “I never do a good job of hiding it—everyone always seems to guess correctly.”

Brooks smiled. “I’d say _enhancers_ are the easiest to spot.” His gaze wandered over the sumptuous door once again. “Keep in mind, Gon, that even if you did have full use of your _nen_, it wouldn’t help you in there.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s nothing to fight in there, at least not physically. I would never say this to Ayida, as I don’t want to insult or belittle her, but I truly think that the reason she came out harmed was because she simply wasn’t strong enough mentally.” Brooks sighed remorsefully.

“But, Ging was?” Gon speculated.

“I’ve never in my life met a man as determined and single minded as your father. Yet, at the same time, I’ve never met a man as adaptable and unpredictable as him either. As though his goal was always his end game, but it didn’t matter how long it took for him to reach it. No matter how many tangents he went on with us, or with other friends, he always was able to return to that one goal he’d held in his heart since he was a boy.”

Gon thought back to the conversation he and Ging had atop the World Tree. What Brooks said reminded him of the advice Ging gave him back then. _Enjoy life’s little detours, to the fullest. Because that’s where you’ll find the things that are more important than what you want._

“Ayida has never been like that. She was raised in a destitute family, with a cruel father and a younger brother that died before she was a teenager. She joined Ging’s excavation on a whim, solely to receive the money he promised her. Ayida’s never had a clear goal, and she never puts herself out there. When she lost her eyesight, the first thing that she did was give up and return to her childhood home. I think that is the difference.”

They fell into an uncomfortable silence. For the first time since deciding to come here, Gon began to feel nervous. Brooks noticed the anxious look on his face and said, “It’s not too late to back down, you know. No one would think less of you if you did.”

“I would,” Gon murmured. He looked at his hands. They trembled slightly. Gon closed his eyes, and took a few deep steadying breaths—the way he would if he were focusing on releasing _nen._ A challenge lay before him, and although this one seemed much more frightening than others he had faced, he couldn’t imagine it being too much worse than dealing with the Chimera Ants and Neferpitou.

Gon felt afraid, there was no denying that. But, he also felt that familiar thrill of excitement from knowing a challenge lay before him—the feeling of being on a hunt.

“I’m ready,” Gon assured Brooks confidently.

Brooks’ face remained expressionless—to Gon it looked as though he had something else he wanted to say, but knew that nothing he could say would persuade Gon from his decision. “Alright,” Brooks walked over to the side of the doors. “Stand directly in front of the door—as close as you can.”

Gon took a few assertive steps forward, until his nose was nearly touching the stone.

The trio at the back of the room called out and wished Gon luck. Brooks said nothing as he lifted his hand and placed it palm down on the side of the door. Gon was unable to see the effects of Brooks’ _nen_, but he felt a chill when the enormous doors slowly began to open inward. 

The sound of stone grating against stone reverberated throughout the chamber. The doors were unbelievably thick—they seemed more like walls than doors. Once they were open just wide enough for Gon to slip through, Brooks shouted, “Now, Gon.”

With his heart pounding, Gon began to walk forward. He made a point of doing so with as much confidence as he could muster. He was going to survive this. He was going to regain his _nen_, no matter what it took.

The second he was clear of the doors, Gon looked behind him just in time to watch them slam shut, leaving him in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly intended to have Gon actually go into the room with this entry, but I came to a natural stopping point and thought I'd just post what I had ready now. I'm thinking the next chapter will be on the longer side, so it couldn't hurt, at least.


	8. Darkness x And x Memories

The room was dark. Only a soft electric blue illuminated the dais just enough for Gon to make out his surroundings. There were heaps of treasures to Gon’s left and right, but he was so transfixed upon the blue light before him that he took no time examining any other aspect of the room. Uneasiness crept up his spine.

Slowly, carefully, he ascended the steps of the dais. His footsteps echoed in the ominous dark. The light came from a luminescent stone set upon an altar. It was decorated with carvings—images and a script that Gon guessed was Lurkan. As he reached the top of the dais, a question rang out perfectly clear in Gon’s mind, although there was no one in sight.

_ Who are you?_

The voice didn’t have a sound, but the words still penetrated Gon’s mind. “Who’s there?” He called out nervously.

_What do you seek?_

As the second question fell unanswered, the room began to blacken. There was no cloud of dark, no absence of light that caused the shift—the darkness simply grew from nothing until it was too black for even Gon’s acute eyes to see.

Gon dared not move from his position. His breathing quickened. “I’m here to regain my _nen,_” he shouted into the dark.

_And who are you to ask this?_

“Gon Freecss—I’m a hunter,” Gon wasn’t sure if that would mean anything here, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

There was no immediate response, and his uneasiness grew. Without warning Gon was thrown across the room. He moved to catch himself, but he didn’t crash into anything. His feet made no contact with the ground, as if the room itself simply disappeared.

A new voice—Ging’s voice—said his name faintly, and Gon whipped around toward the noise. Killua’s voice called from his right, “You can’t do that, idiot.”

“I have good friends,” Kurapika spoke from behind him.

Leorio’s joyous shout at seeing Gon alive during the election echoed through the cavern. With each new voice Gon’s eyes darted around him, searching for a source, but he found none.

“What is this?” Gon shouted. In the pitch blackness, with the eerie shouts of his friends and family about him, he began to wonder if this was all a nightmare.

_Who are you?_

“I told you—Gon. I don’t know what else you want me to say,”

The darkness fizzled away in a sudden flash, and Gon found himself reliving an old memory. He was looking at Hanzo from the exam. His arm was broken, and the pain of his old injury flooded over Gon as if it were fresh. He was standing back in the room where they had fought, all that time ago for their hunter licenses. Gon felt his mouth open, and he heard words come out, but he wasn’t in control of his actions.

“I want to find my dad. He’s a hunter, and I am afraid that if I give up now I will never see him.”

Hanzo grew so frustrated at Gon’s unwavering resolve that he tried to give up the match. Gon remembered the moment well. After receiving unwanted help from Hisoka on Zevil Island, he had been loath to achieve anything less than success by his own efforts from that point on. Having Hanzo admit defeat was worse than losing fair and square.

Gon spoke, “I can’t accept that. It isn’t fair!”

_How petulant you are._

The throwing sensation hit again, and Gon was tossed forward. He stood in the Heaven’s Arena, facing against Guido. Despite the warnings from Wing, and his insistence that Gon needed to learn all of the basics of _nen _before entering a match, Gon challenged Guido. His unpreparedness led to Gon having multiple broken bones. He was bedridden for months.

_You thought that you knew more than your teacher—that you were infallible. Such arrogance._

It happened once more. The push and pull—and Gon found himself staring into the murderous eyes of Genthru. A terrible blast scorched both his arms. Genthru’s _Little Flower_ obliterated Gon’s left hand entirely, and caused severe burning to his right.

Had Gon simply gone through with Killua and Bisky’s plan, he could have won the fight relatively easily. But he didn’t. He was angry at Genthru because of the foul way he played his father’s game. He wanted to, not only defeat Genthru, but prove that he was worthy of it. That Genthru was wrong to write him off as just another child. If the fight had happened anywhere other than inside of Greed Island, where he could be healed by _Angel’s Breath_, Gon may have lived with one hand and a damaged throat for the rest of his life.

_Imagine being so reckless you break your own body again and again._ _Your avarice for adventure makes you apathetic toward your own safety—or the safety of anyone around you._

In a blink, he was outside the Phantom Troupe’s den, Killua to his right, berating him for his actions inside.

“I’m the one who does crazy stuff,” Gon declared, “and you have to keep me in line!”

_It’s always about what you want. What consideration do you give others affected by your choices?_

Gon was beginning to grow disoriented. What was he supposed to learn from any of this? The jump was different this time. He found himself thrown into the dodgeball match against Razor in Greed Island, only, he wasn’t seeing it through his own eyes. He could feel his hands grasping the ball, yet he could see himself standing just a little ways off preparing his _JaJanken._

_Is this…Killua?_ Gon wondered.

He hit the ball full force with his _JaJanken,_ and Gon felt a burst of excruciating pain in his hands.

_This is what he felt every time you punched that ball._

A second blast followed, even more painful than the first. Killua had played it off like it was no big deal. Gon knew he had been lying at the time, but he never imagined the level of pain Killua withstood. Gon’s hands felt as though they were being destroyed after every blow—slowly turning into ragged flesh.

He remembered what happened next. Tsezguerra called a time out and he and Killua walked over to converse. Tsezguerra offered to handle the ball, but Gon insisted that only Killua could do it despite his destroyed hands. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable with Hisoka, or even Bisky. I can only focus on hitting the ball because Killua is the one holding it.”

But the pain was agony. How could Killua stand it?

“I…I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Gon insisted, “But, if Tsezguerra had held the ball…I couldn’t have gone all out.” Gon’s eyes began to burn. “It had to be Killua.”

_So you could defeat Razor “completely” isn’t that right? You put winning over your own friend’s safety._

“But, Killua was okay, he would have been angry if I had—,”

_Your friend Killua stocks his worth on whether or not he is useful to others. In reality, you were taking advantage of that._

Gon fell silent in shock. Was he truly such a bad friend? Was it true that he took advantage of Killua? The thought had never even crossed his mind.

The scene changed. Gon was still looking through Killua’s eyes. They stood in front of Neferpitou. The tension was unbelievably thick, and Gon heard his own voice say, “You have it easy, Killua, since it means nothing to you.”

For a heartbreaking moment, Gon felt Killua’s sorrow. The words hurt him deeper than Gon could have imagined. But in an instant, Killua buried his sadness. “Look, I’m only telling you because you’re losing it. Have you forgotten what you said in the beginning? You have to get Kite back—get a hold of yourself!”

Gon wanted to scream. That wasn’t what he had meant. The way Killua felt hearing those words, was something Gon never intended, and couldn’t believe happened. It was pure sadness. Loneliness. The feeling of thinking you are not needed—or wanted.

_Then, what did you mean?_

“I…” Gon was at a loss for words. He tried vainly to think back to that moment. He had been so consumed with anger, sorrow, and frustration that his emotions were a blur. It was difficult for him to look at the situation from another perspective, but since hearing his words through Killua’s ears, he realized what he said was worse than he thought. “Kite was my mentor; he was someone I looked up to—the reason I became a hunter. Killua had only just met him,”

_You think that another person cannot feel empathy for someone they just met? Do you think that Killua is unable to feel concern, or sorrow for a stranger?_

Gon had never thought about it before. “I just…didn’t think it would matter to him that way,”

_Perhaps his sorrow was being caused more by you than by Kite’s condition._

The scene melted before Gon to be replaced with a long hallway. He recognized it from the palace in East Gorteau, but what he saw was unfamiliar to him. Before him stood Palm, wrapped in what looked like her own hair molded into some sort of _nen_ based armor.

“Let Gon know you’re okay,” Killua spoke from behind Gon. As he turned, Gon was shocked to see tears welling in Killua’s eyes. “He was so worried about you, up to the minute we arrived. Only you, Palm, can do that now.” Killua hunched over, his tears now slipping freely down his face. “Nobody else can reach him.”

Killua fell to his knees and let out a gut wrenching cry. “I can’t do anything!”

Gon’s heart ached as he watched his friend break down. “Killua,” The burning in Gon’s eyes worsened until his vision blurred with tears. Gon’s shock at what he witnessed kept him quiet, and melancholy.

_Kind as you may be on the surface, it’s always about you._

Gon didn’t doubt what he was being told. With every vision he had, he believed it more and more. Next he watched himself slam his fist repeatedly down on Pitou’s skull, until he smashed it to pieces with a sickening _crunch._ Killua slowly approached him from behind, disbelief and terror on his face.

_You gave everything you had to slaughter that Chimera Ant in revenge for the death of the man you admired. You said you didn’t care anymore. Why should you have the use of _nen_ when you so easily gave it away for such a self-serving reason? You do not deserve such a gift._

Pitou’s reanimated corpse attacked, and the ensuing fight ended with Gon using his own severed arm to slam Pitou to the ground. Killua stood to the back, aghast, watching as his friend lost his arm, and his very self to his grief. Gon’s final _JaJanken_ drowned out Killua’s agonized scream.

“Stop, please,” Gon sobbed.

_The only reason you are even alive is because of the sacrifice of your friend. You should be dead—that was the price. But he cheated it for you. In exchange you were left without _nen.

The next scene was another that Gon didn’t immediately recognize. It dawned on him as he looked through a glass window at a hospital cot in the center of a large room. A tiny body, shriveled, and wrapped in bandages lay attached to a variety of machines to keep him alive.

“That’s…me,” Gon said faintly. A figure appeared to his left, sitting upon a bench outside the medical room. Killua.

He looked so bedraggled and downtrodden that Gon immediately felt even worse.

Killua spoke, his head drooping and his voice quiet. “In the end you took care of it.” Gon was afraid Killua might break down again, but instead Killua spoke louder, a feigned fervor in his voice, “It’s the same every time. The same as ever…” His voice trailed off again.

Standing, Killua shouted, “I swear I’ll make you apologize!

“I’m so sorry, Killua,” Gon muttered, “I’ve been an awful friend,”

_Your friend went against his entire family, invoked the power of a creature from my homeland, and risked everything just to restore your physical health. I ask you again: Who are you to request anything more for yourself?_

There were no more scenes—no more visions. Gon stood in the inescapable blackness once again. “Maybe…I shouldn’t,”

Gon felt a chill run through the air, as though something sinister brushed his face.

“But,” he continued, a few leftover tears still streaming down his cheeks, “without _nen_, I can’t ever repay him—I can’t ever repay any of them. Everyone that I’ve met on my journey has taught me something, and I know I can be arrogant, and reckless, and selfish—but if I give up now, I won’t achieve anything. Everything my friends have done for me will have been pointless.”

_You think their sacrifices were pointless? Do you think they expect recompense?_

“No,” Gon shouted, “of course not, but I can’t live—I can’t be the best version of myself without my _nen_. Even if I wanted to, I could never go adventuring with Killua again without being a burden. I don’t want to rely on others to save me, and I want to be able to help them if they ever need me.”

Silence filled the chamber. Gon waited patiently in his sorrow for a response, unable to say anything more.

_That is your answer—Gon._

It was said as a statement, not a question, and Gon puzzled over its meaning. “My answer?” He inquired curiously.

_My existence is inescapable. Over the course of time I have faced many humans. To succeed—to rise above others—you must be adamant. Anything less and you will fail._

“Fail at what?” Gon thought of Ayida, and couldn’t stop himself from demanding, “What gives you the right to punish people?”

Gon felt discomfort as a heated anger burned around him.

_Do not forget that you came to me for assistance. In this way you are no different from anyone else. The avarice of mankind is insatiable. You play with forces you don’t understand—twisting the very fabric of your existence into power. You warp your very life force into a weapon to fight and to kill._

_ If such a lesser, pitiable being was to seek me out, and prove they had a purpose—then who am I to stand in their way? But those that cower—those that fall so deep into their own despair and sorrow as to lose their desires, their very ambition that drives their pathetic lives—they bring their own fate upon themselves._

“You took away Ayida’s eyesight,” Gon tried to sound calm, but he was angry, and he didn’t understand. “What gave you the right to do that?”

_She lost her own way. I did nothing._

“I don’t understand,”

_You have many questions. I may have passed my judgement upon you, but I need not listen to such insolence._

Gon ignored the comment. “What are you?” He asked.

A laugh like booming thunder clapped throughout the room, shaking the very foundation of the temple.

_That is a question I could not answer. _

Gon felt an unexpected burning sensation all across his body. For a moment, he panicked, thinking he was catching fire. But as the burning died down, he felt the familiar sensation of flowing aura. In his joy, he let his _nen_ flow—only choosing to stop it once he began to feel the effects of its loss.

With his power restored, Gon concentrated his aura to his eyes, using _gyo. _As he looked around, he saw misty blue tendrils all about him. Gon stared, agape as the light twisted and curled through the air.

_I have given you what you sought. There is nothing more for you here. Leave._

“Wait!” Gon shouted, “You didn’t answer my questions,”

The light gathered around the altar once again and the room lightened slightly. Gon could once again feel the earth beneath his feet. When the entity had fully reentered the stone, Gon heard the doors behind him scrape against the floor.

He should have felt happy; he had succeeded in his goal. His _nen_ was restored. But Gon felt weighted by the things he learned, about himself in particular. Part of him didn’t want to leave. He knew his friends would have questions, but he wasn’t sure he would be able to bring himself to answer.

As he ambled somberly out of the room, Gon thought of Killua, and couldn’t help but wonder if he could ever repay his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I wrote this whole story for. I know it's super jumpy. I had so many things I wanted to fit in here, but at the same time I didn't want to put too much focus on each scene because anyone reading this is probably familiar with them. I have....a lot of thoughts and feelings about Gon’s character.


	9. Friends x And x Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter.

Gon exited the room, unsure of what he should say to the excavation crew outside. A haze covered him; he felt strangely nervous. As the others came into view, all eyes turned to Gon expectantly. The men stood off by one of the lit braziers, basking in warmth the unyielding stone around them failed to provide. No one said a word until Gon hesitantly smiled, and, taking a natural stance, released his aura in a show of his  _ ren. _

Brooks and the others walked toward him. “Congrats, kid, you got your  _ nen _ back after all.” Noticing the look on Gon’s face, Brooks continued, “But you don’t seem too happy about it, what happened?”

“I...it’s...I don’t know how to explain.”

Vin and Nash jumped in, asking Gon a barrage of questions.

“What was in there?”

“What did it say to you?”

“Was it really an entity born of pure  _ nen _ ?”

Brooks pushed in and quieted the men. “Give the boy a little breathing room. This isn’t an experience that’s easy to talk about, am I right kid?”

Gon nodded slightly.

“Come on, let’s head back up. I’m sure Ayida is worried about you.”

As they trudged up to the top of the stairs, Gon realized that the sky was dark. “How long was I in there?” He asked.

“Long enough for us to finish our work for the day, eat dinner, and sit around waiting for you. Probably six hours or so?” Brooks surmised.

“Six hours? Really” 

From behind Gon, Nash interjected, “We were beginning to fear you weren’t coming out.” Vin elbowed Nash in the side. “No,” he added, “that’s not true. We had complete faith you would make it out alive.”

Gon gave them a faint yet hollow smile.

  
  


The moment they entered the visitor’s center, Gon saw Ayida pacing back and forth in front of Camilla’s desk. Camilla sat in her chair, anxiously tapping her fingers. As they heard the group enter, Camilla and Ayida turned their attention toward them. Gon walked up to Ayida with a smile on his face.

“So, how did it go?” Ayida asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice. 

Once again Gon let loose a little aura. Ayida inhaled deeply and noticeably relaxed. “I’m glad for you, kid.” Although Gon was sure that she meant it, he couldn’t help but notice a sadness to her tone. 

Camilla also offered her congratulations, but the group continued to speak and ask questions of what happened inside the chamber. Gon still couldn’t find the right words to answer them, as he hadn’t had time yet to straighten his own thoughts. He was grateful when Ayida stepped in and said, “Why don’t we let Gon get some rest? Maybe he will feel more up to answering your incessant questions with a little shut eye.”

Gon smiled at Ayida gratefully. Camilla led Gon and Ayida upstairs to a pair of rooms side by side. “You two are free to use these rooms. They’re our spare rooms, so make yourselves comfortable.”

Once Camilla returned downstairs, Ayida turned her attention to Gon once more. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah,” Gon replied, “it’s just like you said though, explaining the experience is kind of hard.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t lose anything in exchange,”

Gon hesitated, trying to decide how much he should tell Ayida. “I did ask about you,” he finally continued.

“Oh? And what did the bastard say?”

“It said that you ‘lost your own way,’ but I don’t know exactly what it meant.”

Shuffling her feet, Ayida softly replied, “Well, who cares what that thing thinks of me. We could puzzle over his riddle for years and never get anything out of it, trust me.”

Although he feared angering or hurting Ayida, Gon spoke again, “I think that so long as you have a purpose in your life that’s important to you, so much so that you cannot be talked out of it or talked down to, that thing in the room would accept you.”

Ayida stood completely still. Gon couldn’t tell if she was angry, or contemplative, but he dared go even further, “Ms. Ayida, I think that what happened to you happened  _ because _ of how you reacted to it.”

“Excuse me?” Ayida’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Adamantly now, Gon continued, “You suffered greatly, I understand that. But you let that suffering stop you, didn’t you?”

“So I gave up, is that it?” Ayida spoke venomously, as if she were daring Gon to say the words she was reluctant to hear. 

“Yes,” he said.

Ayida turned away from Gon toward the door to her room. “What do you know about suffering?” She walked through the door and slammed it shut.

  
  


Gon felt badly about what he said to Ayida, but he had no intention of apologizing for it. He had seen Ayida agonize over her fate too much. He held no desire to coddle her and tell her that her fate was unfair. Of course, it was unfair. But Gon had seen plenty of unfairness in the world, and he didn’t believe it gave anyone a free pass to give up. Hopefully, Ayida would realize this and try to pick herself back up. No one other than she could help her do that.

Inside his small room there was a cot and a desk. It wasn’t quite late enough for sleep, so Gon sat down at the desk and pulled his laptop out of his backpack. As he did so, he saw the disk Wing had made for him of Hisoka’s fight with Chrollo. Gon had intended to send it to Killua.

Killua. How long had it been since he actually heard his friend’s voice? Gon hadn’t ever told Killua about how he lost his  _ nen. _ He didn’t want Killua to think it had been his fault, or that he needed any more help from Nanika.

Gon pulled out his Beetle 07, the phone Leorio had picked out for Gon and Killua and haggled over back at the YorkNew auction. The phone was able to grab a signal from anywhere in the world with perfect clarity. Gon thought about calling Killua. So long as he too still had his phone, the call should go through.

_ But, what would I even say to him? If I told him about what I just did he’d probably get mad at me. _ Gon thought back to what he had seen of Killua within the room, the things Killua had felt and endured for him. Since their last meeting, it was as though their relationship had deteriorated some, despite the fact that they still considered each other best friends. Gon wanted to make it right. He wanted to thank Killua, not just for what he had done to restore him, but for all the times he’d protected him, and suffered because of him. He needed to make things right with his friend. How could he ever hope to put that into words?

He was nervous. “This is Killua we’re talking about,” he said aloud, “talking to him has always been easy.”

He selected Killua’s name from his contact list, but left his finger hovering over the call button. He sighed, set the phone down on the desk, and prepared himself for bed.

Gon awoke the next morning to a knock at his door. Upon answering it he found himself facing Ayida. She stood expressionless, and said, “How about the two of us go for a walk?”

Ayida led Gon outside toward the ruins Gon had seen from afar the day before. After walking through them a little, Ayida said, “I thought about what you said to me yesterday, and you were right.”

Not knowing how to respond, Gon kept silent and listened.

“I did let my sorrow and self pity get the better of me. But, you’ve got to understand Gon, not everyone is able to bounce back from pain the way you and your father do. In fact, I would argue that most people would be unable to ever do so. Pain and suffering shape people far more than their happiness. It scars you, sometimes so deeply that just the thought of what caused the pain can reopen wounds. I am such a person, even though I wish I weren’t.

“The people most suited to being hunters are people who love to be challenged. The people who rise up in the face of despair, that gain strength from their pain. Hunters are those with the determination and single mindedness to achieve their goals whatever they may be. I am not such a person. Truly, I envy you and Ging.”

Gon finally spoke, “But, if you keep that mindset you’ll never change,”

Ayida laughed. “Your mindset and your thought process are not the same. You may be able to change your mindset from something foul to something positive, but people can’t just change the way that they naturally think.Try to think back for a moment, has there ever been a time when you’ve intentionally changed how you thought? Sure, I can try, but it will never be enough to make me change something fundamental about who I am.”

“I think it just takes time," Gon murmured, his eyes downcast. "So," he continued without giving Ayida a chance to respond, "are you just going to go back to sitting in your house alone?”

“No, I’m not. I’m going to stick around here awhile and try and find something new to set my mind too.”

“That’s great!”

“Perhaps.” Ayida replied. “And you, Gon? What do you intend to do?”

Without meaning to, Gon began to relay everything that happened in the chamber. His intent had been only to ask her advice about Killua, but soon he found himself explaining everything. How cruel he had been to his friend without ever even considering how it must have made him feel. “Everything it told me was true, and that makes it hard to know what to do about it.”

“I understand, probably better than most. I was made to feel weak, and pathetic." Ayida paused and took a deep, steadying breath, "I used to have a younger sister. Our father was the lowest form of trash. I used to do my best to stick up for my sister, but once, when I’d made a horrible mistake I knew would cause me serious trouble, I let our father think it was my sister’s fault. I just couldn’t take the abuse anymore, and I sold out my younger sister for just a moment of reprieve. I thought that she would get nothing more than a small beating. She had to learn I couldn’t always protect her, right? But I hadn’t known my father was in a particularly foul mood that day, and my sister was so small. I lay in our room with my pillow over my ears, ignoring the sounds. After what he did to her, my sister just gave up. She wouldn’t eat, she wouldn’t move, and eventually she died. All because her older sister sold her out to save herself a little grief.” 

Ayida began to cry. “I’ve always been weak. I’ve always been willing to let someone else suffer so I could survive. It wasn’t until I met Ging, and learned to use  _ nen  _ that I finally found a purpose to my life. But that shadow was always there, and in the end it proved me right. I was a horrible person, and I didn’t deserve anything.”

Gon didn’t know what to say, so he kept silent as Ayida continued, “I guess, in my own way, I always thought the entity in the room was right for what he did to me, and I decided to live a secluded life so that my Truth could never cause me to harm anyone ever again.”

“But, that’s no way to live.” Gon said.

Ayida smiled at him. “A few days ago I would have chased you away with curses, but today I am going to agree with you.” 

As the two began to meander back to the visitor’s center, Ayida said, “And about your friend, Gon, you should give him a call. The longer you go without speaking to someone, no matter who it is, the easier it will be to create excuses for not reaching out. Don’t cut your ties like I did.”

  
  


As they walked into the visitors center, Brooks unexpectedly strode up to Gon and Ayida. “I’ve already spoken to Ayida about this but, Gon, what are your plans?”

“My plans?”

“For the future,”

“Well, I promised Aunt Mito that I’d return in three months to continue schooling, but it’s only been a few weeks. I haven’t decided what to do in between I guess.”

“Well, if you are interested, we could use your help around here. Teach you some things about archeology and such.”

Gon’s face split into a wide smile, “That would be great!” Turning to Ayida he asked, “And you’re sticking around here too aren’t you?”

Ayida chuckled, “At least until I get sick of you all.”

“Alright, count me in!”

  
  


Later that evening, as Gon sat in his room, he pulled out his phone again, turning it over in his hands.  _ What should I say? How do I start a conversation? _ With a deep breath, Gon found Killua’s name, and pushed the call button.

Gon realized he hadn’t a clue what time it was on the Azian continent. Killua could be asleep for all he knew. The phone rang four times and then a voice said, “Hello?”

“Hey, Killua,”

“Gon!” Just the sound of Killua’s voice immediately washed all of Gon’s nerves away, as if it had only been a few days, and not over a year, since their last conversation.

“What’s up?” Killua asked when Gon didn’t respond.

“I was just wondering how you guys were doing. I got that email you sent of the Black Whale,”

“It was awesome, although some of those Hui Gu Ro princes really give me the creeps. I don’t envy Kurapika working for them as a bodyguard. So, what’s up with you though? Are you still studying with Mito?”

“Actually,” Gon began, “I’m on the Vishan continent, down at the Lurka ruins.”

“Awesome, what brought you down there?”

Gon didn’t know if he should dodge the question, or tell Killua the truth.

Hesitantly, Gon answered, “Well, back when Alluka healed me, when I woke up I was unable to use my  _ nen.” _

Silence.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you, Killua, I just didn’t want you to feel like it was on your shoulders.”

Killua sighed. “You should have told me, idiot, maybe Nanika could have--,”

“Killua,” Gon interrupted, “You and Alluka have already done so much for me, I didn’t want to put another burden on you. This was something I wanted to fix on my own, for once.”

After another brief silence, Killua asked, “So, you haven’t had  _ nen  _ this entire time? Is that why you’ve stayed on Whale Island?”

“At first, but I did promise Mito I would finish my schooling before I left permanently,” Gon chuckled, “A few weeks ago I asked her if I could take a break to try and find a way to reawaken my  _ nen,  _ and that’s what brought me to the Vishan continent.”

“So, did you find a way to restore it, then?”

The events of the last few days flashed through Gon’s mind, as well as many of the things he’d been privy to back in the Room. “Yeah,” he replied, “I did.”

“Must have been a pretty intense experience, I mean just awakening it the first time was crazy, I can’t imagine what it must have taken this time. You didn’t do anything reckless or stupid, I hope?” Killua’s voice sounded simultaneously concerned and annoyed, a tone Gon was more than accustomed to given their adventures together.

Instead of going into detail about his experience, Gon avoided the question and said, “Killua, I’m…” he hesitated, “I’m very sorry about everything.”

It took Killua a moment to respond as he tried to figure out what Gon was apologizing for. “Idiot, you’ve already apologized multiple times to both me and Alluka, seriously, it’s all good now.” Killua sounded exasperated. Gon couldn’t blame him. Gon had always known that he could be difficult to deal with, and now he had been given an outside view into just how much.

“I’m not just talking about that stuff,” he said, referring to his fight with Pitou and resulting injuries. “I’m talking about everything.”

“You...don’t have anything to apologize for, though,” Killua replied quietly.

“I think we both know that isn’t true. Killua, I always thought you were stronger than me, better than me. And I never even considered that sometimes the way I spoke to you or treated you would come across the way it did. So, I’m sorry. For all the times I was selfish.”

Unexpectedly, Killua laughed. “That’s a whole lot of times, you know!”

Gon smiled.

“You know,” Killua began again, “if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m free of my family, I’m able to travel and see the world with Alluka, and I don’t have Illumi or my father trying to control my every thought. Sure, you were selfish sometimes, but seriously Gon, I could never thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.”

“Same,”

“So,” Killua said, trying to change the mood, “what do you plan to do now?”

“The excavation team here invited me to stay a while, and then I’ll head back home to help Mito.”

“That’s it?”

“Well…” Gon said, “I do have one idea.”

“Let me guess,” Killua said, “does it involve the Dark Continent?”

Gon’s eyes lit up, his mouth splitting into a smile, “How’d you know?”

Killua laughed, “I like to think I know you pretty well, plus, I’ve been thinking something similar. I think…” Killua hesitated, “I think that Nanika might be from there.”

Gon thought back to what the  _ nen  _ entity in the room said. It referred to Nanika as a  _ creature from it’s homeland. _

“I think you might be right. Does that mean you intend to travel there?”

“Well, V5 plans on sending a new colony ship every five years, right? I figure in five years I’d be able to get there no problem.”

“Another ship?” Gon called out elatedly.

“Yeah, you didn’t know?”

“No,” Gon’s mind raced, his whole body felt on fire with excitement at just the thought of being able to follow Ging and the others to the new continent. The world that gave birth to the chimera ants and the entity in the Room. The world whose history was being documented by a mysterious figure named Don Freecss. The place that his own father had left him to find. The place that held even more mysteries and dangers than the known world.

“Oh, no, I gave you an idea, didn’t I?” Killua asked jokingly.

Gon laughed, but wasn’t sure how to respond. The two fell into another silence. But this one wasn’t uncomfortable. It wasn’t an absence of talking between two strangers, but a moment of calm between two good friends.

“We’ve gone too long without actually talking to each other,” Gon finally said.

“You’re right, we should try to be better about it. Maybe after you head back to Whale Island Alluka and I can come visit for a little while or something.”

“I’m sure Mito would love Alluka,” 

The two friends continued talking well into the evening. Killua shared some of his adventures, and Gon told Killua all about Hisoka and Chrollo’s battle. It felt wonderful to be able to speak to Killua again after so long. Gon hadn’t realized just how much he missed his friend.They spoke of the future, and of their absent friends, and anytime the Dark Continent was mentioned, Gon felt a spark in his chest. A longing to see the unknown, to explore hidden enclaves, and find new species of magical beasts. He finally had a new goal--a new motivation. 

He was finally ready for another journey. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me almost three times as long to write because my life was a stressful mess for a bit with all the stuff going on in 2020. That and I honestly didn't think I'd get this far so when it came to actually writing it I was at a bit of a loss. But I'm very happy I actually finished it :)
> 
> I hope it was enjoyable, and I do have some ideas to write another story about Killua and Alluka, but it took me years to plan this one so I can't make any promises.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm fairly confident in my portrayal of Gon, and I hope he comes across the same way to others as he does to me. I actually started thinking about this idea about 5 years ago and I kept putting it off because "maybe Gon will come back in the manga and then I sure will feel stupid because I could NEVER write something as profound as Togashi" but he hasn't yet and if he ever does...I actually have an idea about that too but depending on how I do with this story I may do more so I don't want to throw all my ideas out there just yet ;)


End file.
